Johnny Carson

"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."

Carl Sandburg

"I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way."

Dan Quisenberry

"I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer."

Margaret Mead

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

Garry Shandling

"I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it."

Helen Hayes

"Age is not important unless you're a cheese."

Bertrand Russell

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."

Eddie Izzard

"Never put a sock in a toaster."